i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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