I got chris browned last night
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
