Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Everything about him screamed your future.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
