We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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