READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
