we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
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you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
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You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same