Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize