They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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