It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
