just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize