I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
