i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
