She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
