fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i think i have herpe
just one?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
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His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
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I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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