Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
