To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
