Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
