don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
