that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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