no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
