i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize
