So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
