You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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