She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
