I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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