I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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