He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
