I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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