I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
