She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
