i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
