I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
