the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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