awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
