this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
did i just pee glitter
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