I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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