I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
