I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
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