But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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