Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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