is your mom at the bar?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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