And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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