If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
pray to the hookup gods
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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