he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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