We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
