last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
