I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
