So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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