I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
