I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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