sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize