In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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