i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
