Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
how does that bad decision feel?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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