We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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