Kiss
Puke
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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