i don't plan on having that self control this summer
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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